LEGAL DISCLOSURE // ITAR

Export Compliance

Warning: Restricted Technology

● Critical Warning

The technologies described herein are subject to the International Traffic in Arms Regulations (ITAR). Diversion contrary to U.S. law is prohibited. Or it would be, if these weren't plastic eyes.

1. Controlled Items

The following Anduwill products are considered "Defense Articles" under the US Munitions List (Category XXI: Miscellaneous Articles):

  • Model X-1 "The Stare": Any googly eye with a diameter exceeding 50mm.
  • Gyroscopic Stabilizers: Any mechanism designed to enhance wobble duration beyond 10 seconds.
  • Adhesive Compounds: Glue capable of bonding to military-grade titanium or office drywall.

2. Prohibited Destinations

Anduwill products may not be exported, re-exported, or transferred to any country subject to U.S. embargoes, or to any person or entity on the Denied Persons List. Furthermore, we strictly prohibit the export of our products to:

  • Any location lacking a sense of humor.
  • Parallel dimensions where entropy flows backward.
  • The bottom of the ocean (unless attached to the Buoy-Watcher 3000).

3. End-User Certification

By purchasing Anduwill products, you certify that:

  1. You are not a robot (unless you are a cool robot).
  2. You will not use these products to build a giant, all-seeing eye atop a dark tower.
  3. You understand that "wobble" is a privilege, not a right.

4. Penalties for Non-Compliance

Failure to comply with these regulations may result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

  • Confiscation of all googly eyes.
  • Mandatory attendance at a lecture on "The Physics of Boredom."
  • A permanent ban from the Anduwill gift shop.