Privacy Policy

1. Data Collection

We collect everything. Your clicks, your scrolls, your hesitation before clicking "Buy Now," and the exact angle of your eyebrows when you realized this is a parody site. Our googly eyes are not just for show; they are advanced telemetry nodes gathering data on your "wobble affinity."

2. Use of Information

We use your data to:

• Calibrate the wobble frequency of our units to match your anxiety levels.
• Train our AI to recognize the difference between a "stare" and a "glare."
• Determine if you are cool enough to join the Anduwill Space Force (currently pending funding and existence).

3. Third-Party Sharing

We do not share your data with third parties, primarily because no one else understands our proprietary "Wobble-JSON" format. However, we may share your browsing history with your fridge magnets, just to keep them in the loop.

4. Cookies

We use cookies. Not the delicious kind. The digital kind that track you relentlessly across the internet. If you disable cookies, our googly eyes may stop wobbling, and that would be a tragedy for everyone involved.

5. Your Rights

You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to be stared at. You have the right to request deletion of your data, but the request must be submitted via a handwritten note attached to a carrier pigeon.